Sorry, I totally forgot to post about Max's doctor appointment! Got so excited this morning with his poopy (he just had another by the way...yippee!) and then I got a lot of emails from everyone saying "HELLO??? You haven't updated us about yesterday. How is our lil' guy doing???" Thanks for your concern...so appreciated! :)
The appointment was very long...with many tests and xrays. They did a urine culture, and for the men out there, you know how unpleasant that is! They had to try multiple times and Max was NOT happy, not at all. Results will be back today or tomorrow.
The doc also wanted xrays of his abdomen to research any possible blockage issues. FORTUNATELY, nothing was structurally wrong...just A LOT, A LOT, A LOT of gas. Yikes! And what do you think happened AGAIN with the xray technicians? Yep, different people, same story.
"You can sit him here."
"Nope, sorry, before we get started let me explain, Max absolutely cannot sit by himself. He has a very weak torso due to CHARGE, his genetic disorder. These kiddos have little upper body muscle tone."
"Ok, then I will sit him in this device here...that should work."
"Nope, again sir, sorry but that will not work...he CAN NOT sit up. He can barely hold his head up for just a few seconds."
And then with a very inquistive look, "How old is he?"
"He is 10 months old...yes I can tell you are confused. As I mentioned before he has a genetic disorder and spent a long time in the hospital and he is very delayed."
FINALLY...after much more back and forth, I showed them how we always do the xrays and they followed my lead. At least this time I was prepared better...but it still is not fun having to walk people through all of Max's issues.
Then because Max was feeling so bad and lethargic, he just lay there and it was soooo sad. They kept saying what a good boy he was, but I was thinking about how sad it was that he was getting so used to being handled and tested that this didn't even bother him. It broke my heart...you had to be there, but it was definitely a very emotional xray experience.
Let me say though that the technicians were very, very kind...they didn't mean to hurt my feelings or be frustrating. They just couldn't understand why Max couldn't sit up...apparently they must not deal with many special needs children. But hopefully they now have a better grasp of the challenges after our discussion.
ANYWAY, his fever continued throughout yesterday and a little into the night but this morning it was down...not down to normal, but not considered a "fever" anymore. I *think* Max may be on the road to recovery. Perhaps, just perhaps, I can hope for sleep tonight...maybe three or four uninterrupted hours? It's amazing how mommy loves get you through though, isn't it??? :)
It is an absolutely beautiful day here in Bellingham and I think I may take Maxwell outside for some sunshine. Always makes me feel better...hopefully it will do the trick with him too!
Friday, April 28, 2006
YAY! MAX FINALLY HAS "MOVEMENT!" :)
I have never been sooo thrilled to see poop before! :) Max has been having such severe gas pains and little "movement" that this morning I was talking with him (yes I know it sounds weird, but hey it worked) about the need for him to go "poopy" and within the hour, he did! Thanks Max! And funny enough, look at the shirt he has on...how perfect!
It's a hand me down onesie that I bought for Thomas. It came in a little Chinese take out box and had this fortune on it: "A surprise will appear in my pants." :)
This one I took right when I was changing his diaper and it was hilarious...as soon as I brought out the camera, he smiled!!! How in the world does a "severely developmentally delayed" (according to his medical team) 10 month old baby know to smile for a camera??? TOO CUTE! :) 
"Mom, enough already...all I did was go poopy! Well, I guess I'm glad you didn't take a photo of the actual diaper!!!"
Thursday, April 27, 2006
ANOTHER DIFFICULT NIGHT
Max finally just drifted off to la la land, so I have a quick second to post about how he is doing and also use this opportunity to vent...much needed, trust me! :)
It was another fun filled night in the McKinley household...when will the fun ever end???
Max whimpered and cried throughout the night with severe gas pains and a fever of 102. The fever has yet to subside, so we are heading to the doctor's this afternoon for more tests, xrays, etc. The fear is that perhaps something is going on with his lungs or he has a bladder infection, etc. etc. etc. His oxygen needs are all over the board, so who knows what is going on there. He keeps us guessing, that's for sure. It was such a sad and exhausting night. Nothing seemed to make him feel better. Usually if I hold him, all is well, but not last night. He was a very uncomfortable, unhappy lil' kiddo.
Then this morning...after pretty much a sleepless night, I check my email while I am on hold with the doctor's office. And here comes another irritating email from my soon to be ex arguing that he cannot afford to pay what I need to take care of Maxwell. He will only provide a limited amount of alimony unless the judge forces him to do otherwise. So it's not like Max and I will be on the streets, but I will have to use our divorce settlement (the businesses that I built) to pay bills...and eventually that money will be gone. It just isn't fair...he continues to live the same life he always has, yet I am supposed to have no life and just "get by" on very minimal income. It's like he just can't grasp the concept that we MUST find a way...you just can't say "no." What does he expect me to do? This is our son and he is our responsibility. He's not even wanting to discuss different options.
I'm so tired of wasting energy and anger on this divorce...my efforts need to be focused solely on Maxwell. We sent him a settlement offer last week in hopes of just getting this over and done. I had learned he actually moved in with his girlfriend just a few months after leaving me, so I was hoping that perhaps he would be motivated to settle so he could move on with marriage plans with her or whatever. I am probably giving more details than necessary (trust me there are much more but not appropriate to include here!) but I am just so irritated this morning. Anyway I was hoping he would agree with me just to find a compromise and get this settled...but nope, he insists we will fight it out in court and I have to fly back to WV. Have I stressed just HOW irritated I am with this man???
He has not even asked about Maxwell for nearly five months...he visited him for a few days in early December and we haven't heard from him (regarding Maxwell) since. A million and one emails and calls about the divorce, our businesses, financial issues, etc. but absolutely nothing about Max. So odd. I keep hoping that something will trigger a fatherly instinct in him to care for him and love him...I even give him heads up about medical issues but he never responds. I just don't get it. I have tried to keep him included, but he apparently just does not want to be. How in the world could you stay away from this precious lil' boy? How could you not set aside your differences and get involved in every way possible?
Sorry for going on and on, but some days I am just stunned with his behavior and I feel like I am being betrayed all over again. We don't deserve this treatment...period. Max and I certainly have done nothing wrong and yet we are the ones getting punished.
Well, Max's speech therapist will be here any minute, so I must run...hopefully Maxwell is up to at least a little therapy. We'll see! At least it will be a good distraction from this morning's irritation. :)
It was another fun filled night in the McKinley household...when will the fun ever end???
Max whimpered and cried throughout the night with severe gas pains and a fever of 102. The fever has yet to subside, so we are heading to the doctor's this afternoon for more tests, xrays, etc. The fear is that perhaps something is going on with his lungs or he has a bladder infection, etc. etc. etc. His oxygen needs are all over the board, so who knows what is going on there. He keeps us guessing, that's for sure. It was such a sad and exhausting night. Nothing seemed to make him feel better. Usually if I hold him, all is well, but not last night. He was a very uncomfortable, unhappy lil' kiddo.
Then this morning...after pretty much a sleepless night, I check my email while I am on hold with the doctor's office. And here comes another irritating email from my soon to be ex arguing that he cannot afford to pay what I need to take care of Maxwell. He will only provide a limited amount of alimony unless the judge forces him to do otherwise. So it's not like Max and I will be on the streets, but I will have to use our divorce settlement (the businesses that I built) to pay bills...and eventually that money will be gone. It just isn't fair...he continues to live the same life he always has, yet I am supposed to have no life and just "get by" on very minimal income. It's like he just can't grasp the concept that we MUST find a way...you just can't say "no." What does he expect me to do? This is our son and he is our responsibility. He's not even wanting to discuss different options.
I'm so tired of wasting energy and anger on this divorce...my efforts need to be focused solely on Maxwell. We sent him a settlement offer last week in hopes of just getting this over and done. I had learned he actually moved in with his girlfriend just a few months after leaving me, so I was hoping that perhaps he would be motivated to settle so he could move on with marriage plans with her or whatever. I am probably giving more details than necessary (trust me there are much more but not appropriate to include here!) but I am just so irritated this morning. Anyway I was hoping he would agree with me just to find a compromise and get this settled...but nope, he insists we will fight it out in court and I have to fly back to WV. Have I stressed just HOW irritated I am with this man???
He has not even asked about Maxwell for nearly five months...he visited him for a few days in early December and we haven't heard from him (regarding Maxwell) since. A million and one emails and calls about the divorce, our businesses, financial issues, etc. but absolutely nothing about Max. So odd. I keep hoping that something will trigger a fatherly instinct in him to care for him and love him...I even give him heads up about medical issues but he never responds. I just don't get it. I have tried to keep him included, but he apparently just does not want to be. How in the world could you stay away from this precious lil' boy? How could you not set aside your differences and get involved in every way possible?
Sorry for going on and on, but some days I am just stunned with his behavior and I feel like I am being betrayed all over again. We don't deserve this treatment...period. Max and I certainly have done nothing wrong and yet we are the ones getting punished.
Well, Max's speech therapist will be here any minute, so I must run...hopefully Maxwell is up to at least a little therapy. We'll see! At least it will be a good distraction from this morning's irritation. :)
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
EEG AND SELF PORTRAITS!
EEG
Max had his EEG (to test for possible seizures) on Tuesday, and the process went fairly smoothly. He wasn't very happy with all the preparation for the test...lots of work to get the 25 probes attached to his head and he was very insistent on pulling them off. (The appointment was over three hours long!) Plus he was a lil' cranky because he was so tired, which was our plan so that he would sleep for the EEG. (I did lots of therapy and play with him beforehand to wear him out!) Any issues with the brain processing tend to be easier to spot during sleep. There were lots and lots of sad/annoyed tears, but fortunately our plan worked and he feel asleep near the end of the preparation just in time for the test.
We are supposed to have results by the end of this week or beginning of next. The neurologist will then either bring us back in for another appointment or review the results with Max's PCP.
Max had his EEG (to test for possible seizures) on Tuesday, and the process went fairly smoothly. He wasn't very happy with all the preparation for the test...lots of work to get the 25 probes attached to his head and he was very insistent on pulling them off. (The appointment was over three hours long!) Plus he was a lil' cranky because he was so tired, which was our plan so that he would sleep for the EEG. (I did lots of therapy and play with him beforehand to wear him out!) Any issues with the brain processing tend to be easier to spot during sleep. There were lots and lots of sad/annoyed tears, but fortunately our plan worked and he feel asleep near the end of the preparation just in time for the test.
We are supposed to have results by the end of this week or beginning of next. The neurologist will then either bring us back in for another appointment or review the results with Max's PCP.
SELF PORTRAITS
Later that day Maxwell had an OT appointment. He is having a difficult time holding his head up. He will try but after a second or two, he gets very tired and practically collapses. So we are trying every different method, toy, therapy device available to help him.
Well, we found a toy that would actually hold his interest and keep his head up for a few seconds...MY CAMERA! I was going to take a picture of him but then he reached out for it and was very interested. So I just let him have it and put his finger on the button and out came these photos. Do we have a photographer in the making or what??? These are some of my absolute favorite photos of all time!!! :)
And as an added bonus, his wonderful therapist (we think you are great Eileen!) was very happy that he was able to hold his head (with her assistance) and reach for something at the same time.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
WEEKEND FUN!
Just got home from the EEG and we have about an hour before Max's occupational therapy appointment. So before Max grabbed a quick nap, he asked that I post some of his fun photos from this weekend...before his latest "spell."
Yes those are shadows on my face...the sun is out in Bellingham, the sun is out! YAY! Thankfully Mom remembered my hat...that sun is beautiful and feels great, but I need to protect my eye!
Look at me having a little picnic while Mommy does some yard work! Life just doesn't get any better than this...relaxing in the sunshine, getting a little lunch, and playing all at the same time!
Mommy, I love that you love me so much...but really, are we outside for a photo shoot or for yardwork??? :)
Grammy Suzanne does such a good job helping me learn how to eat! We had lots of fun and I have made some great progress. 
Mommy and me at church! I love playing with her hair and touching her face!!! :) And notice my hearing aide? I'm doing much better about wearing it! It helps me hear the beautiful church songs!
After all that "sitting still" in church, I wanted to roll around and play when we got home...how cute am I???
While Aunt Eliz ran inside the store, Mommy used this opportunity to take some photos! That's my cousin Thomas sleeping beside me.
Am I ham or what???
