Yep, today was one of "those" days. One of those days when Max's developmental delays slap me across the face. One of those days that reality sets in and emotions take over. And then of course on one of "those" days, you start questioning your abilities as the parent/therapist/nurse and of course nothing ever feels good enough.
The emotional wave started at Max's OT appointment. The OT, PT and I were looking through catalogues to decide which swing would be best to assist with Max's vestibular issues. (This is a big problem for many CHARGErs.) And we aren't talking about some baby swing here...we are talking about a ceiling installation of a heavy duty therapy swing in the middle of our play room. (Thank you Kristy for hooking me up with a possible contractor...very thoughtful.)
I want to do everything possible to give him this much needed sensory input. His head shaking doesn't appear to be stopping anytime soon and will become even more noticeable and invasive as he gets older. This swing should also help with torso strength and coordination. Anyway, for some reason this discussion as well as Max's lack of strength with another very simple toy just threw me. And the eyes started to tear up...
Then we went to Target for some new therapy toys suggested by his OT. When I realized that I was buying toys in the 6 month range (simple cause and effect toys), it hit me again. My child is nearly 19 months old...yet developmentally we are nowhere even close.
Perhaps this wave of emotion really started last night. We had dinner at Eliz's house and played with Tom Tom and Jackson. As much as I absolutely love spending time with my amazing, adorable nephews, it also is such a harsh reality check. Thomas (same age as Max) is incredibly well developed. While Max is laying there on the floor mouthing a toy, Thomas is feeding the dogs...literally. Getting the scoop of food and bringing it over to the dog bowls. He is very impressive. And while I know, I know, I know I am not supposed to compare...sometimes you can't help it.
Anyway, enough of the pity party. Tonight Max and I had a good and happy night and I am excited to play with all of our new toys tomorrow. We made several homemade toys tonight too and I think they are going to work great. Plus we have several therapy appointments in the next few days, and I am looking forward to setting up new short term goals to give us that much needed encouragement.