THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Thank you everyone soooo much for the many supportive emails and phone calls today...wonderful to feel so loved and cared about during this difficult time. And thank you too for allowing me to vent about the divorce, etc. Some days when "my cup overfloweth," I just want to scream...but I never want Max to feel any stress or negativity. Only good vibes around my sweet lil' man! :) So it helps to know my family and friends are there to listen to me vent and then pick me back up...thank you!

Today is yet another "cup overfloweth" day unfortunately. One of my best friends back in Virginia, Kirstin, has a nephew, Ryan, who has been in the hospital since birth. (We already shared so much, it was so odd to share this ICU experience with her.) Ryan is just four months old and has been suffering from heart and blood clot issues. Tooday I learned he is not going to make it. His clots are worsening and now he has another infection. I literally screamed when I heard this news...enough is enough. We have seen too many babies die this year. I am trying to understand that our bodies some times just are not equipped to last, but it feels like death has been all around us. What a naive world I lived in before....I just assumed all babies were born healthy and happy. I was just nervous about knowing how to breastfeed or would my baby cry a lot, etc. What a reality check this year has been.

My heart goes out to Ryan's family...I can't believe I never had the opportunity to meet him. Please keep him and his wonderful, loving parents, Danielle and John (and aunt Kirstin) in your thoughts and prayers. What an incredible loss for all of us.

Additionally, Max is confusing me today. His heart rate has been much higher than usual during sleep and his O2 requirements are higher too. Hmmm...I have a call into the doctor's office and as soon as Max wakes up from his nap, I am driving him to the hospital for some lab tests. We'll see. I am hoping that I am just being paranoid, but I think something might be up.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring peace, health, and only good news!