Tuesday, November 07, 2006

THE VISIT

What can I say about this weekend and Maxwell's visit with his father? Hmm....well, it was definitely more work than it needed to be and that was frustrating.

On Saturday, Maxwell was not a happy camper when I had to wake him up to take him to the hotel. He wasn't feeling all that well and simply wanted to be cuddled and loved. Instead I was lugging all of his medical equipment to the car and then giving him over to a nurse in the hotel lobby. It was quite bizarre and yet another silly chapter in this divorce. All of this for a two hour visit.

Then the next day we repeated this all over again, but fortunately Maxwell was in a much better mood. Earlier in the day, I took him to the park and gave him a good pep talk before I "handed him over." And fortunately his medications (antiobiotics and steroids) had kicked in a bit so he medically was a little stronger than the day before. For both visits, I brought his favorite toy so I knew he would be happy. (He is absolutely addicted to his playcube.)

The father's fiance and the daughter were both there as well. The nurse said everyone was cordial and very impressed with Maxwell. Not sure they still get the amount of work that goes into Max's daily care and therapy...but I'm not sure they ever will.

I have to admit it was a fairly difficult, frustrating and sad weekend. Nobody wants to experience a painful divorce, and yet sadly, it happens to families every day. I know for me, this was a big concern. I had always promised myself that I would not have children with someone unless I knew absolutely for sure that we were committed for life. My parents divorced when I was young, and I never wanted my children to experience that pain.

Yet despite my former spouse promising me time and time again that a divorce would never ever happen to us, here I was this weekend "handing over" my medically fragile/special needs baby to him and his new fiance in a hotel. That is just not how I expected life to turn out for me and my family...but really, who does? Crazy, absolutely crazy.

*Brandy, as I waited for the nurse in the hotel lobby, I thought of you because it felt like yet another scene from the Lifetime movie you want to produce! :)

Hopefully the next visit will be with much less drama and difficulty...

14 comments:

Inkling said...

Dear Amy, I just found your blog through my "virtual" friends, Temera and Ang. Though I don't know you personally, both you and Max got stuck in my heart all week. And you guys were both in my prayers all weekend. I'm glad you both came out of it safely and well, even though it was so hard.

Blessings to you and your incredible, adorable, and precious Max! ~ Sara

Mark and Jaye said...

I am constantly impressed by the grace and dignity with which you carry yourself Miss Amy! You are a shining light to Max and he can only grow to be an amazing man having a mother like you.
I am sure that this weekend was difficult for the two of you...but as usual, you made the best out of a not so great situation and came out the other side with dignity and pride intact.
Bravo!
Jaye

Mark and Jaye said...

ps. I forgot to say, "Fiance"? The divorce isn't even settled yet! My goodness Amy...what you deal with....
Hugs and Prayers to you!
Jaye

Pearl said...

Amy & Max - Once again you have proven that taking the high road, no matter how difficult, is always the right thing to do. If only others in this situation -- and in all of life's scenarios -- acted with your grace and dignity, the whole thing may be over by now and the world would be a better place. I'm glad to hear you both made it through the drama primarily unscathed. And I'm left to wonder if Mr. Sprouse is trying break Elizabeth Taylor's marriage record (she's had eight ... he's catching up to her quickly)!! He's beginning to remind me of the always-revolting Kevin Federline. Oh Lord, he doesn't have a rap album coming out, does he?

Sarah said...

Fiance?? What an insensitive .... I know, I know.

Amy, your grace and compassion amaze me. I thoroughly enjoy your blog and seeing little Max grow and thrive. God bless you and your family. You are in our prayers.

Leslie, Arlin, and Katie Kauffman said...

Amy, even though I only know you through the CHARGE list and Max's blog, I thought about you and Max and your "visit" all weekend. It really bothered and worried me that you and he had to go through such a difficult situation, on top of everything else. I'm glad it went OK, despite being harder than it needed to be.

Hugs to you and Mighty Max,
Leslie and Katie

kathryn biel said...

Amy,

I'm glad this weekend is past and that you won't have to worry about another one for quite a while (like the 2008 election season). I definately could not have kept myself together in such a dignified manner. It is such a shame that strangers are more involved in your lives, but it is his loss and our gain. God bless you both.

Kate

Momof2 said...

Amy, I'm a little miffed at the fact that you work so hard doing all you do for Max and the Ex can swoop in and enjoy that sweet child, having done nothing.
Also, I'm with everyone else...Fiance? She must be as pathetic as he is. Honestly, WHO would marry someone like him? Yuck.

Anonymous said...

Oh Amy,
It sounds like you handled this weekend better than I did 13 years ago.

Cyber hugs (with no cold germs attached) to you and Max for getting through this tough weekend.

Mary Karr said...

Amy, how your arms must have ached as you left your precious little Maxwell. How much better it would have been for Maxwell to have been home for the visit since you were not with him. Too bad what would be best for Maxwell wasn't a priority for his dad. I am sure he was one happy little boy when he was returned to his mommy.

I love Kathryn's comment about no more visitation until the 2008 election! I was thinking four hours a year donated to parenting but Kathryn is probably more accurate.

I also agree with momof2 about the fiance - desperate gal!

CrystalandEva said...

God bless you Amy and I hope he finally gets it through his head taking care of Max is not easy.
Max is so lucky to have you has his mom and I am so lucky to have "meet" you!!
HUGS!!
Crystal and Eva

elle said...

we r all so lucky to know you and so unlucky to know ru ex LOL

Kirstin said...

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this crap..You are a wonderful mother and MAX knows it. This visit was just with some people to MAX, not family members. They don't know him or will ever know him. You took the high road, (we’ll go the low road next time we're together:-))
My thoughts are with you and Max...lots of love to you both...K

Ruthie said...

Love your little hearts. I'm sure this won't be a regular scenario for you guys. That's one thing we can keep in mind. Its a shame that he wasn't able to see truly "everything" that went on just to get him there. Of course I'm sure that wouldn't have left any impression what so ever. You are an amazing person. Highly superior to what little Max had to experience for 2 days. Hang in there Amy. We are all rooting for you and Max!